Well here we are forgathered in a vast and happy throng,
And here am I to do me best to cheer you with a song,
We’ve had some splendid evenings here carousals by the score,
Strange to say, we’ve never had a harvest home before.

For Stromness folks the Toon Hall’s always been the rendezvous,
They always held their concerts there and ither functions too
Bit this time, for a change it is the farmers’ social centre,
And unless your T. T. tested, you are not allowed to enter.

The Stromness parish Agricultural Society,
Are famous for their wisdom and their versatility,
They always make a great success of everything they try,
And as I mention all their names, you’ll know the reason why.

Ye’ll ken the mighty President, the man from Arion,
A mighty man in times o’ war is Major Sabiston,
A lucky man in times o’ peace, completely clear o’ strife,
The reason’s very simple, folks, he hasn’t got a wife.

The Secretary is a brawny Heilander called Neil,
As a piper and a Banker, everybody kens him weel,
He’s aye the best o’ company at every social frolic,
He speaks to us in English, and he sings to us in Gaelic.

And there’s Peter Flett o’ Strathie, everybody kens him weel,
He’s known throughout the parish as a mighty descent chiel,
At getting things for nothing, he’s the canniest and wisest,
So he aye maks it his duty, to collect the special prizes.

Another worthy fellow, is James Rendall o’ the Bu’,
Whatever task you give him, he’s prepared ta see it through,
At the special sales at Stromness, he can eye produce the winners,
In every class o’ cattle he secures the highest honours.

And Willie Laird o’ Wholmsley is a cheerie sort o’ laddie,
To his adopted plooboys he’s a real sugar daddy,
And what a herd o’ dairy cows, and always getting more,
And bonnie fields o pasture noo, where rushes grew before.

Anither famous farmer man is Sandy o’ Stairwaddy
They tell me that he’s awfu fond o’ checkers, dogs and toddy,
He seems tae be a brilliant man, that knows an awful lot,
But faith, he’s no as clever as that dog o’ his ca’d Spot.

And there’s Aubrey Flett o’ Langhouse, he is six feet two or three,
He’s very much looked up to by the whole committee,
He’s such a height abune them a’, they canna ither do,
He used to cairt aboot the toon, bit he’s a fairmer noo.

Next comes Herbaert Harvey, he’s a builder o’ renown,
He’s built a lot o’ houses in the country and the town,
He’s building cottages for soos, on pigs he’s fairly crazed,
And he’d better build a boar’s hoose or the soos will no be plaised.

And Norman Isbister’s a might clever kind o’ chappie,
He’s given up the fairming and he’s most supremely happy,
But that land should lie in pasture is a thing he’s no allooing,
He gave a cup for plooing, just to keep the fairmers plooing.

And that’s the whole society, I think they’ve a been mentioned,
If I’ve omitted any names, it was’na me intention,
I’m sure we’ll all be happy and enjoy oor harvest home,
And noo I think it’s time tae stop, me voice is getting chrome.